Words have power, and they can be even more powerful when you say them to kids. Young children are pure beings; they know almost nothing except for having their natural curiosity amongst things. As Aristotle has said, children are clean slates open for learning, and that is why it is essential that as parents, you make sure their slates remain intact until they are ready to face the world.
What do we mean by intact? Could the children’s slate be broken and shattered? Yes. There are many harsh things about reality that can ruin their childhood and fantasies. Kids are fragile beings that believe in kindness, passion, and generosity. They won’t be able to comprehend why people commit a crime and hurt animals, but they will know the words their parents say to them. Kids might not be able to process the words said and their context, but they will believe once they are called names.
As parents, there are times that you can get carried away. There are even reasons why arguments in the house happen, but your child won’t understand it. They would not understand why you and your spouse might be arguing about money, but they will know that they are one contributing factor to the problem.
If you are aware that there were cases that you have said words you don’t mean in the presence of your child, or you were harsh in approaching your kid, here are ways to fix it:
Say Sorry and Mean It
To kids, their parents are their heroes. They look up to them, adore them, and most importantly, they believe them.
If you have yelled at your kid because you were frustrated, you must sincerely apologize. Do not be like one of those parents that will simply shrug these situations off because, well, it is not like your kid can leave the house. No. Kids will remember every time you yell at them or the times when you shoo them away because you are busy with work. If you do not apologize and take back your words, it will leave a huge impact on how they will remember their childhood and parents.
Whether it is an accident that you have spoken to your child harshly, you need to try to be aware and stop. Make it up to them every night and remind them how much you love them. After all, an apology is empty without a behavioral change.
Speak to Your Kids in a Gentle Voice
Following the point above, you should stop yelling at your kids for no good reason. We understand that it is the most challenging task in the world to parent and discipline a young kid, but raising your voice at them for no good reason is not parenting.
Raising your voice at home because you are tired or you have financial problems is not parenting. It is negligence. You are being negligent of how your behavior as a parent will affect your child when they grow up. See, this is why emotional stability should now be a must before getting married and starting a family.
Plus, do not expect your kids to understand your actions under the shadow of being a provider. They are kids, they believe in fairies and Queen Elsa, they won’t be able to comprehend why you might be taking out the stress you are feeling on them.
Whatever the case is, be gentle if you ask them to be quiet during an important Zoom meeting. Be firm and authoritative but gentle.
Assure Them of Your Love
Words can cause painful wounds, but they can also heal them. That is why apologizing is the first one on the list, but that is just the beginning. It would be best if you also assured your kids every day. See, they will remember the words you have said. They will even fight their classmates in their nursery school when you tell them that you survived in the 2012 movie. Therefore, they will also remember those times when you have called them names that caused their self-confidence to lower.
They will not even question themselves; they will straight up believe you. That is why you have to be responsible and make sure you remind them that they are loved and cherished. Continuous efforts will make them forget anything about what you said.
Raising tiny humans is the noblest thing anyone can do, and it is not easy. You can get frustrated and tired, but do not let it make you say something that you will regret later on.